Johnlock texting
by hedgehoginajumper
Summary: Just a group of Johnlock texts. One-shots, as always! K TO BE SAFE! :)
1. Girlfriends

Sherlock and John belong to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and BBC. If I owned Sherlock, it would all be Johnlock fluff.

John. -SH

John. -SH

John! -SH

JAWN! -SH

What the bloody hell Sherlock! I'm on a date! -JW

John, I'm bored. -SH

And you had to interrupt my date to tell me that?! -JW

Yes. -SH

Besides, all of your girlfriends are stupid and dull. Remind me, why do you still go out with them? -SH

Because, Sherlock, one day I just _might_ want a wife and some kids. -JW

Why would you? Kids are almost as annoying and stupid as Anderson! -SH

You used to be a kid you know. -JW

Yes, but I didn't run around forcing people to act like they cared about things I did. -SH

... -JW

When are you coming home? -SH

In a few hours. -JW

Is that alright? -JW

Sherlock? -JW

Sherlock, are you sulking? -JW

You're upset now. -JW

Do you care about your girlfriends more than me? -SH

NO. -JW

Then why do you still go out with them? -SH

Because... -JW

I miss you John. Come home soon. -SH

Okay Sherlock. I promise. -JW

John? -SH

Yes? -JW

I love you. -SH

I love you too. -JW


	2. Parents

John, I have some bad news. -SH

Oh no, Sherlock, what have you done this time? -JW

Nothing. It's just that your parents are here. -SH

WHAT? -JW

John, honestly, I find it would be incredibly stupid of me to type and resend that. If you want it repeated, please reread it. -SH

What do they want? -JW

They want, and I quote, "We would like our son to come on a trip down to Paris along with Harriet so that he may spend some time with his family. We've missed him lately." -SH

Are you going to go with them? -SH

Well, I hope that my mum will let me stay, but you can never be too sure with her. -JW

I'll try to convince them that I shouldn't go. -JW

Yes, you do that. Tell them you have work. -SH

That rarely works on her, Sherlock. -JW

John, your dad is getting awfully close to the fridge. -SH

Well tell him not to open it! -JW

Then he'll definitely open it out of suspicion. -SH

Tell him that a couple of eggs went bad and that someon is going to come clean it up this afternoon. -JW

Too late. -SH

John, your mother is frozen in place. Shall I get the shock blanket? -SH

Yeah, you do that. I'm on my way back right now. -JW

Where have you been? -SH

Shopping. Sorry, I'm on my way. Just had a little argument with the chip-and-pin machine. -JW

You are so adorable, getting mad at machines. I wish I could have been there to witness it. -SH

I am not adorable! -JW

Oh yes, you most certainly are. -SH

You arse! -JW

Your parents think we're getting married. -SH

Really? -JW

Yes. -SH

And WHY would they think that? -JW

Because I told them. -SH

Sherlock, why on earth would you tell my parents that we are getting married?! -JW

It's just funny seeing them stare at me in horror. -SH

Are you mad at me John? -JW

John, reply! -SH

NOW! -SH

Please, babe, give me a minute. I'm paying the cabbie. -JW

John, refrain from calling me ridiculous nicknames such as 'babe'. -SH

Whatever... babe. -JW

You're a naughty, naughty boy, John. When you get home I'm gonna give you a proper punishment. ;) -SH

Such as...? -JW

You have to go on the trip. -SH

WHAT? -JW

And you have to bring me with you. -SH

Oh, okay. That sounds alright. -JW

I'm coming in right now. -JW

Obviously. I can hear the door opening. -SH

OK. See you in a sec. -JW

See you, babe. ;) -SH


	3. Chocolate Souffles and Drunk Johns

**Chocolate Souffles and Drunk Johns**

* * *

Why is there dried, chocolate muck all over the oven and in the fridge? -JW

It was my attempt at making a chocolate soufflé. -SH

Why? -JW

Because today is your birthday. Have you forgotten? -SH

Oh...-JW

It doesn't matter though, because it didn't turn out right. -SH

Hey, it's the thought that counts, right? -JW

I guess... -SH

Will you be home soon? -SH

John? -SH

Hello? -SH

John, answer me! -SH

hayyyyyyya suerlok -JW

John, what did you do? -SH

wuatt ded yu duew? -JW

What did I do? -SH

Iem wiit Gruegg -JW

I suppose he invited you for a beer and now you are blasted? -SH

yyyyyuuuuuaassssss

John, I talked to you five minutes ago. Why didn't you tell me you were at a bar? -SH

cuuz i wuuuuus soebr. -JW

Because you were what? -SH

Soebr. u kneoow, soyber? -JW

Sober? -SH

YUUUASSSSS. -JW

Why would you get drunk? I thought we were going to dinner tonight? -SH

surry shurly, i jast wyunted tuo hacve sum fyn. -JW

Whatever. Perhaps when you are less drunk I can talk some sense into you. -SH

bye shlock. -JW

Do I need to pick you up soon? -SH

NOOOOOOO -JW

maubee. -JW

Alright, where are you? -SH

i dounno -JW

You don't know which establishment you are in? -SH

undeart tyabel. -JW

What does the underside of the table look like? -SH

bwak ande wite. -JW

Oh, I know exactly where you are. -SH

I'm on my way over now. -SH

Greug an mikroft are kisen. -JW

Mycroft is there too? -SH

yuh, abn he kisen grueg -JW

Don't worry John, I'll be there soon. -SH

bi sherly -JW

Bye John. See you soon. -SH

I ilouv yu -JW

John, look out your window. -SH

Oh, and I love you too. -SH

* * *

**Did you like it? Those of you who like drunk Sherlock, you're gonna enjoy these next couple chapters! I'm currently working on _The magic of Johnlock_, so it may be a day or two before the next update. Thanks for readin'! -hedgehoginajumper**


	4. Honestly, Sherlock

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the late update, I've been working on my other fics. But now I am going to try better at updating this not often.**

**Okay, so this is a fic about Sherlock getting drunk, because last time it was John. I apreciate all the reviews and suggestions!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything.**

* * *

Haya jon -SH

Sherlock? -JW

uets meyee -SH

And may I ask you, why are you drunk? -JW

beeauz ey waz buurd. -SH

Well, you could have told me that you were bored and we could have done something together. -JW

ur bbiiuring -SH

Thank you Sherlock, that makes me feel great. -JW

r uo mayd -SH

Yes, Sherlock, I'm kind of mad. -JW

msory -SH

Whatever. -JW

wont du eit agan, k? -SH

Alright, but only because you are adorable. -JW

iem nuot eaduruble! -SH

Oh yes you are. Especially when you beg. -JW

eim nut a daog -SH

I know that. But you could be. -JW

NOOOOO -SH

Sherlock, you need to come home soon. Please. -JW

i dounte nnow hew tou geet ther -SH

Well, I guess I could come pick you up. Where are you? -JW

ien thu parck -SH

You're in the park?! -JW

yup. -SH

Wh- oh never mind. -JW

iem watin -SH

Sherlock, I haven't even gotten a bloody cab yet! -JW

thuen gut wone. -SH

Sherlock, be patient! I'll be there in about five minuets. -JW

fyne -SH

***5 MINUETS LATER***

Where are you? -JW

hure -SH

Sherlock, that's not helping. -JW

bye a biig trea -SH

There are lots of big trees here. -JW

uem eggin a beanch -SH

You're egging a bench? -JW

yup -SH

Why would you do that? -JW

bured -SH

Uh... Do you see me? -JW

yus -SH

Come here then. -JW

And drop the eggs. -JW

okey -SH

Lets go. -JW

FYNE-SH


	5. Poor little Johnny boy

Hello Sherlock. I've got something of yours that you might want back. -JM

What have you done with John?! -SH

Oh, Sherlock dear, you don't need to worry. All you need to do is come here and he will be safe. -JM

You liar. -SH

So what? I lie, THAT'S WHAT PEOPLE DO! -JM

Where are you? -SH

Well, if you must know, I am behind your flat. -JM

Don't you lay a finger on John! -SH

Sorry, but it's already to late for that. -JM

I'm coming right now, and I have a gun. If you hurt him, I will shoot you. -SH

Alright, alright, Johnny boy will be fine, but only if you get here in 30 seconds. -JM

Already there. -SH

Why are you in a robe? -JM

The question you should be asking is why we are still texting each other. -SH

Good point. -JM

* * *

***1 Hour later***

Lestrade, I need an ambulance. Now. -SH

Sherlock, what's happened? -GL

It's John. He was kidnapped by Moriarty. -SH

I'm sending an ambulance over right now. -GL

Good. Hurry. -SH

What's wrong with him? -GL

He was stabbed in his left leg, and has very bad burn marks all over his chest. -SH

That's really bad, Sherlock! How are you still calm? -GL

I'm not. It's just that I'm in a lot of shock right now, or else I would probably be freaking out. -SH

Alright, Sherlock. Just breath, and try to stay calm. We'll be there in less than a minute, John's going to be okay. -GL

Okay. -SH

Soon after the last text was sent, Sherlock heard sirens getting louder and closer. 'It's alright,' he told himself, 'John's going to be okay.' As people started running toward them, Sherlock recognized Lestrade among all the people.

"Lestrade," he said blankly.

Lestrade sat down next to him and offered a water bottle, which Sherlock took gratefully.

"Sherlock," Lestrade said. "You don't need to worry about John anymore, okay? They looked at both wounds, and said that it will heal easily with some stitches. Why don't you ride with me and we can be at the hospital with him?"

Sherlock nodded and looked at Lestrade. "I really feared that I would lose him," he said, tears running down his face. "I thought that I would never get to tell him how much I-I love him."

"Oh, Sherlock," Lestrade said and patted him on the back. "You will still be able to tell that to him later, but for now, let's get you cleaned up and we can go visit John."

"Okay."

* * *

Mycroft, you need to come see your brother. -GL

Why bother? He hates me! -MH

I know, but you need to try to talk some sense into him. He's freaking out because of what happened to John, and I can't calm him down. -GL

Fine. I'll be there is thirty minutes. -MH

Good boy. -GL

Lestrade set down his phone and stared at Sherlock, throwing stuff and sobbing onto the floor. It was very unlike Sherlock, who rarely even sniffled.

A nurse came out and stared at Lestrade with a puzzled look on her face after seeing Sherlock, and he just shrugged. She came and sat down next to him, then smiled.

"He's awake and well now," she whispered. "If he wants to come in, he can." Then she got up and left.

Greg looked at Sherlock, who had hardly noticed the presence of the nurse. "Sherlock," he said. Sherlock looked at him.

"John's awake."

* * *

John! Are you alright? -SH

Yes, Sherlock. I'm fine. You can stop worrying now. -JW

I wasn't worrying. -SH

Yes you were. Greg said you had a nervous breakdown. -JW

Well... -SH

Hey, the doctor said I could go home this afternoon. -JW

Good. Uh, John? -Sh

Yes? -JW

I just wanted to tell you that I- I love you. -SH

Oh Sherlock. I love you too. Why don't you come see me? -JW

I didn't want you to see that I had been crying. -SH

Well, it's okay now. I have been crying too. -JW

See you in a second. -SH

Okay. Luv ya. -JW

* * *

**Hi peoples, again! Okay, so I don't really know what to do the texts about anymore, so if you would comment and tell me what you'd like, that would be great! Thanks for viewing!**


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